Friday, October 29, 2010

Parashat Chayei Sarah and Compassionate Response

Today's news of attemped attacks on our country and, notably for the Jewish community, explosive packages bound for Chicago citizens has caused our nation to reflect on the past 10 years and on how one moment's madness can change everything. While it appears that al Qaeda may be responsible for these attempted attacks, it is important, especially at times like these, that we not blame an entire people for the wrongdoings of some. As Jews, we know what it is like to be falsely charged with creating harm - blood libels, plagues, financial ruin - when we were not responsible, definitely not as a people, and usually not as individuals, either. Instead, our tradition teaches us the value of compassion. There will likely be voices in the coming days, weeks, and even months, that will place blame on all Muslims for the actions of a fringe element in Islam. Be not mistaken: what has transpired over the past day or hours has not been the work of the Muslim community.

This week's Torah portion, Chayei Sarah, teaches us the value of compassion in Jewish tradition. When Abraham sends Eliezer to find a wife for Abraham's son, Isaac, there is a litmus test that the would-be bride must pass. The young woman who would not only offer to provide water for Eliezer, but also for his camels, would be worthy of marrying Isaac. Abravanel teaches that the woman who would marry Isaac had to be compassionate, kind, and generous. In her Torah commentary, Studies in Bereshit, Nehama Leibowitz explains that "Rebecca was not satisfied with running once to the well and drawing water. She took the trouble to make a number of journeys to and fro, each time letting down her pitcher, filling it, and giving them to drink." She goes on to teach that those who would take pity on Rebecca for having to go through "all of this trouble to quench the thirst of a total stranger and his cmaels, would do well to remember Akavia ben Mahallel's maxim in the Mishnah: Better that I should be dubbed a fool for the rest of my days, rather than become a wicked man for one hour before the Omnipotent (Mishnah Eduyot 5:6).

Better we should be deemed fools for the rest of our days for not blaming an entire people for the actions of some, than that we scapegoat an entire people and in turn offend God.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Parashat Vayera: Pleading for Others, Having Faith in Ourselves

Abraham, our partriach, has quite a week this week. He learns he and Sarah will have a son, though they are both nonagenarians. He argues on behalf of the citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah, to no avail. He refers to his wife as his sister, nearly causing a king to sleep with her. He has his son, Isaac, which only leads to Sarah's plea to have Abraham cast out his son, Ishmael, and his mother, Hagar. And ultimately, he prepares to offer his son Isaac as a sacrifice to God. Wow. It's almost too much to handle all at once.

Each of these moments is complex, filled with uplift and depression. But it is with Abraham's pleading with God on behalf of the sinful cities of Sodom and Gomorrah that I want to wrestle this week. I encountered a teaching about this portion, Vayera, from Kolel, the Adult Centre for Liberal Jewish Learning, in Toronto, that spoke to me, especially in light of my recent blog posts about bullying and GLBTQ youth.

In the portion, Abraham is deeply troubled by the possibility that when God destroys Sodom and Gomorrah, innocent people will be wiped away with the guilty. He even goes so far as to chastise God, saying, "Far be it from You to do such a thing, to bring death upon the innocent as well as the guilty, so that innocent and guilty fare alike. Far be it from You! Shall not the Judge of all the earth deal justly?" (Genesis 18:25).

The commentary from Kolel unpacks this moment in contrast to the last scene in our sedra, where Abraham willingly prepares to sacrifice his son without any argument. With Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham argues for quite a while, first asking what God would do if there were 50 innocent people, eventually bargaining God down to only 10. But there weren't 10. But when it comes to his son Isaac, Abraham remains silent. Professor Yeshayahu Leibowitz, citing midrash, indicates that Abraham's silence in regards to his son doesn't come from a place of fear, but rather from a place of faith. Regarding Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham sees it as an issue of justice. But regarding Isaac, his son, it is an issue of faith. These are two completely separate issues for Abraham.

So, what does this mean for us today? The commentary from Kolel asks, "How often do we put other people's interests before our own? In our society today, we tend to 'look out for number one,' which is not to say that we don't care for others, but we put ourselves and our own needs before all others." Justice, the value that motivated Abraham's actions around Sodom and Gomorrah, and faith, the value that motivated Abraham's silence surrounding the near-sacrifice of Isaac, do not exist separate from one another. Sometimes, they require compromise. In order to make a better world for everyone, the commentary argues, we sometimes need to put our own needs after those of others. If we are willing to give a little more to others, we can create a better world for all of us. The commentary concludes by teaching us, "Abraham showed us that we manifest our love for God best when we believe in a God-like fashion towards others, and maintain a faith in God for ourselves."

I believe that Abraham also teaches us that we have to know when to speak up for others and when to be secure in who we are.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Lech L'cha: Going Forward

Last night I attended a vigil in Loring Park in solidarity with students who have been bullied or who are being bullied because of their actual or perceived sexuality or gender identities. This week, I heard a GLBTQ leader's interview on public radio where she said that there aren't all of a sudden more cases of bullying, but that we are both paying more attention and that the cases are more severe than they have been. As I've recently posted here, Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project is encouraging teens who are being bullied to know that things won't always be like this. And I've heard from friends, colleagues, congregants, and others that Dan Savage's project falls short of what we need. Telling teens that it gets better is telling them to wait it out. But as one of the speakers last night at the vigil pointed out, we need to be telling teens, "It gets better now." We need to be doing the work to make this world safer for our children.

Then, this morning, I read an email from a congregant that included Rabbi Shmuley Boteach's post opinion piece for the Wall Street Journal, My Jewish Perspective on Homosexuality. In it, Boteach begins strongly by stating that when the Bible uses the word תועבה (to'evah), meaning abomination, in regards to sex between two men, it is important to note that there are over 120 other instances where this word is used and that a sexual act between two men is no worse than any of these other instances, according to the Hebrew Bible.

As I read the rest of Boteach's editorial, I felt as though I was on an emotional roller coaster... sudden ups and downs, twists and turns. At moments I thought, “Whoo-hoo! A ‘right wing’ religious leader who gets it!” and then all of a sudden, I found myself saying, “But you’re still saying homosexuality is a sin!”

I really appreciated his putting abomination in context. And I love that he says, “You have 611 commandments left. That should keep you busy. Now, go create a kosher home,” reminding us that none of us can actually follow all of the commandments, but at the same time I’m troubled by the idea that he disqualifies two commandments with his statement, the prohibition against men lying with one another and one commanding us to bear children. The commandment in Genesis is not, “Marry a woman and be fruitful and multiply.” It is simply “Be fruitful and multiply.” It doesn’t tell us with whom. And he doesn’t even begin to address, in the midst of his concern about divorces and children growing up in multiple homes, all of the children who are not growing up in stable homes at all, whether they are in orphanages or foster homes, who could be the well-loved children of gay and lesbian couples. Talmud (Sanhedrin 19b) teaches us that someone who teaches Torah to a child is considered as if he had produced that child. Even the Talmud understands that some people will “be fruitful and multiply” through non-conventional means.

I love that he implies, in his remarks about Pat Robertson, that homosexuality just isn’t big enough of a deal to exclude people from our communities. But nonetheless, he still labels homosexuality as a sin, He says it is a religious sin, one we commit against God, not a moral one, one we commit against our fellow human beings.

It's a a good start that had me hoping he’d done better. Judaism changes. It always has. It changed when Mahlah, Noa, Hoglah, Milcah and Tirzah, Zelophehad's daughters challenged the laws of inheritance and insisted that in spite of the fact that they had no brother, their father's property should not leave their family; they should be allowed to inherit. It happened when the rabbis examined the text of the wayward and defiant son whom the Torah commands to have stoned to death (Deuteronomy 21:18), and they conclude that never has such a son existed and never will he. Judaism changes.

But I also hold the value that the Reform rabbis of 1885 held when they wrote their Declaration of Principles, the Pittsburgh Platform of 1885:

We hold that the modern discoveries of scientific researches in the domain of nature and history are not antagonistic to the doctrines of Judaism, the Bible reflecting the primitive ideas of its own age, and at times clothing its conception of divine Providence and Justice dealing with men in miraculous narratives.

So, when we look at this week's Torah portion, Lech L'cha, and we see Abraham setting out from his father's house, and we consider the midrash from Genesis Rabbah 28:13, we know that we have to move beyond what we have always done when what we have always done is no longer enough. In the Torah portion, Abraham sets out for a new life. In the midrash, we learn that his father was an idol maker. One day, when left to tend the shop for his father, Abraham smashed all of the idols but one, the largest one, with a stick and then placed the stick in the largest idol's hand. When his father returned and asked him what he'd done, Abraham blamed the largest idol, saying it was jealous of the other ones. When his father told him that was impossible, Abraham asked why his father would worship something without knowledge or power. And so, he set out on his own.

When texts and interpretations hinder our relationships with one another and with God, it is time not to rationalize them or to cast them aside as inaccessible, as Boteach claims by telling gay and lesbian Jews that there are still 611 commandments they can follow, but rather to reinvent them, grapple with them, and understand them in the modern world which God has created. It's not enough to say, "It's still a sin, but God will deal with that." God gave us Torah and it is our responsibility to wrestle with it and make sure no one is left out.

Friday, October 1, 2010

In the Image of God: Parashat B'reishit

This week we begin Torah again, with Parashat B'reishit, the first portion in the book of Genesis. As you probably know, Genesis begins with the Creation narrative, where God creates the world in six days and completes the work of Creation by resting on the seventh day, the Sabbath, or Shabbat. As just about each aspect of Creation is completed, God observes it and admires it, proclaiming it 'good.' When God creates human beings, God proclaims the work completed that day, טוב מאוד, very good. Why are that day's creations, especially the creation of humanity, 'very good,' and not just, 'good'?

When God sets to the task of creating human beings, God says, "'Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness...' And God created man in God's image, in the image of God, God created him; male and female God created them" (Genesis 1:26-27). What does it mean for us to be created in God's image?

Pablo Casals writes, "Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moemnt that never was before and will never be again - and what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two is four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them, 'Do you know what you are? You are a marvel! You are unique. In all of the world there is no other child exacly like you. In the millions of years that have passed there has never been another child like you. And look at your body, what a wonder it is. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel.' And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is like you, a marvel? You must cherish one another. You must work - we all must work - to make this world worthy of its children."

This is what it means to be created in the Divine image: it is to recognize the spark of God in each and every human being and to teach our children to recognize that spark in one another. But we are failing. Since Rosh Hashanah, four teens have taken their own lives because they were being bullied based upon their actual or perceived sexualities.

15-year-old Billy Lucas took his life on Rosh Hashanah day, Thursday, September 9. He never told anyone he was gay, but his classmates believed he was and taunted and bullied him because of it. He hanged himself in his family barn, where his mother found him. We are failing our children.

18-year-old Tyler Clementi took his life on Friday, September 22. Tyler jumped off the George Washington Bridge after his roommate secretly set up a webcam and broadcast his intimate encounter with another guy. We are failing our children.

13-year-old Asher Brown took his life on Thursday, September 23. Among other things, his classmates would perform mock gay acts on him during physical education classes. Repeatedly, he and his parents complained about bullying, but after he shot himself, school officials denied ever knowing about the ongoing harassment and bullying. We are failin ourchildren.

13-year-old Seth Walsh took his life on Tuesday, September 28, nine days after his suicide attempt. He hanged himself in a tree in his family's backyard, where he was found still alive, but he never recovered. In spite of an anti-bullying program in his school, no one stepped in to stop his bullies.

The Human Rights Campaign is calling on Secretary of Education Arne Duncan to include gender identity and sexual orientation in anti-bullying programs nationwide. Sign the pledge.

Dan Savage has created a YouTube campaign to tell gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer youth everywhere that "It gets better," through his project, the It Gets Better Project. Here's his video with his husband, Terry:



B'reishit teaches us that we are created in the image of God. How we treat one another reflects the relationship we have with God. By failing to act, we are failing our children. But we can do better. Our children need to know that they are marvels, and that it gets better. We were too late for Billy, Tyler, Asher and Seth, along with so many others - zichronam livracha, may their memories be a blessing - but we don't have to be too late for anyone else. It gets better.